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One foot in front of the other....

Yesterday's assessment went really well. [personal profile] gridlore came with me, and was a marvel - volunteering information when I was trying to clarify or had obvious mental blocks (like the fact that I was predominantly raised by my great-grandmother, who was a single mother of two during the Great Depression, and as such had her own set of Issues about food), without making it seem like this was all his idea and I was just along for the ride. The psych who did the assessment is going to talk with my primary physician, get some corroborating information, start pounding on my insurance company, and then circle back to me next week so we can set a game plan.

And then Doug and I went to dinner, and he had two huge beers (probably three pints' worth in two glasses)...and once he was drunk he gave me the most amazing pep talk, talking about how very proud he is of me for doing this, and how he knows I'm going to be fucking well terrified at points, but that he'll be there to support me, and so will all my friends, and how he knows I can do this because I'm so bloody GOOD at everything I set my mind to - when I can just. fucking. STOP sabotaging myself.... He probably went on for twenty minutes, including acknowledging at least once that he had deliberately gotten himself this drunk because he knew he couldn't have said half of it to me otherwise, and I cried a lot and laughed more than a little and we held hands and smiled like fools and it was absolutely everything I could have hoped for.

And then we took a leisurely drive home so we could look at Christmas lights, including the one house up the road from us that I really ought to get pictures of because my GOD it's unreal. How you get that many lights on a single-story house that can't be over 1000 square feet, I can't tell you. (Though it does involve giving up the use of the garage for the month so they can put a display in the driveway. I kid you not.)

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1268051.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
plymouth
Dec. 23rd, 2011 10:49 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you're off to a good start! Yay!

(And I can so relate to that "Getting yourself drunk so you can say the things you really want to say". It's kindof maybe not the best idea ever, OTOH sometimes it's all ya got and it works.)
(Deleted comment)
baronlaw
Dec. 23rd, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
That sounds like the perfect conversation to have. Hugs.
capplor
Dec. 24th, 2011 01:08 am (UTC)
I am delighted
that two friends, together, are so good to/for each other. Keep it up and best wishes for success.

Robin
geeklite
Dec. 24th, 2011 02:27 am (UTC)
<3
drewkitty
Dec. 24th, 2011 02:27 am (UTC)
You are both totally full of win.

>> ... deliberately gotten himself this drunk because he knew he couldn't have said half of it to me otherwise, and I cried a lot and laughed more than a little and we held hands and smiled like fools and it was absolutely everything I could have hoped for.

Amen.
realmjit
Dec. 24th, 2011 02:53 am (UTC)
my great-grandmother, who was a single mother of two during the Great Depression, and as such had her own set of Issues about food

Oh gods. we probably have similar horror stories.
silkensteel
Dec. 24th, 2011 05:53 am (UTC)
"What do you mean you don't want to eat ____? When WE were on our death march, we picked undigested grains out of horse manure and ate it!"

I'm not making that one up. And my aunt was actually quite slender most of her life too, as was my mom, and nobody quite figured out why they had a fat daughter. Duh. :)

(And then when I gradually got myself down to a healthy weight, over the course of about four years, Mom bitched that I was losing TOO MUCH weight. Go figure.)
browngirl
Dec. 24th, 2011 02:59 am (UTC)
I am really glad for you, and rooting for you!
hitchhiker
Dec. 26th, 2011 06:42 am (UTC)
what she said!
spiritualmonkey
Dec. 24th, 2011 06:21 am (UTC)
*BIG HUGS & SUPPORT*
valiaderekin
Dec. 24th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
I am so glad that you are getting the love and support that you'll need during this journey.

I love you & I believe in you & I know you can do this.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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Keith - We All Are Americans
kshandra
We're flat broke, but hey - we do it in style....

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