Glitch
I can't help financially, but I can spread the word.


Originally posted by [personal profile] itsamellama at Raising Funds to Move Out (Sooner)
(TW: suicidal ideation, mental illness (depression/anxiety), emotional abuse, financial anxiety)

Hello. Most of you know me as Mel. I don't have many words, but the gist is this: I have badly wanted to move out of my current place of residence for several years now due to constant emotional abuse, a negative environment, and physically unsafe/unhygienic housing conditions. I have tried my best to endure, delaying my moving out year by year, but I believe I am now at my utmost limit as tonight, I had the most intense suicidal thoughts I have had in a long time, and I am afraid of what may happen if this continues.

I want to stress that I will still try my best to save up for moving out on my own. I do have a part-time day job, and sometimes I get some tiny extra income here and there freelancing. However, anything I receive will help me get one step closer to moving out - and helping my mental and emotional health - sooner.

My original plan was to move out December 2015 (July 2015 at the earliest) but my goal now is to move out within December 2014 or by January-February 2015 at most. My goal is to save a minimum of $1000 to survive on a tight budget for three months where I live. $2000 would cover six months of living expenses. And so on.

I will keep a counter, here, of how much I've earned so far.




I know I have asked help from you all before - for my mental health therapy funds, in particular - and I am still so, so grateful for all the help that you have given me. I am so, so sorry to have to ask again - and most of all I don't want anybody to feel pressured or obligated. But if you would like to...

- donate via PayPal [or send to: mel.g.cabral[AT]gmail[DOT]com]
- donate via Gumroad
- donate via other means (bank deposit? etc.?)
- support monthly via my Patreon
- commission me for art and design
- hire me to edit your written work
- hire me to write for you (fiction/non-fiction, essays/articles/short stories/etc.)
- buy something from our RedBubble (or the FanDomination RedBubble) (we receive a small percentage of sales
- buy a pre-hand-painted notebook (or commission me for one)
- buy some ACEOs or paper bead jewelry
- buy some semi-precious stone and/or faux pearl jewelry
- buy some second hand books (I might put up more soon)
- commission me to record audio (readings?) or video of myself for you (for whatever reason)
- signal boost

... or something else, or anything at all, I would be so, so, so grateful. Every dollar, every peso helps. Thank you for reading.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1328412.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Starting to look up

Glitch
As I noted to [personal profile] gridlore this morning as I staggered out of the bedroom, I certainly don't sound any better today, not least because this cold has moved out of my head and into my chest, but I feel significantly more functional than I have all week. And my holiday_wishes presents have started to arrive, which has been keeping my spirits up when I've been otherwise miserable.

Thanks to everyone for your well-wishes.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1327872.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

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"...I wasn't supposed to take both?"

...what?
I restarted ALL my medication* this week after a lapse in compliance, and I'm feeling a little like Jed Bartlet today:



*two antidepressants, a statin, metformin, and a diuretic

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1327013.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Boosting the signal

Broke
madelineusher/[tumblr.com profile] sailorcipher lost their* job about six weeks ago. Aisu qualified for unemployment, but the payments don't cover rent, to say nothing of food. They have a couple of really good job prospects, but neither of them is likely to come through before they run out of funds, unfortunately, so if any of you know of queer-friendly, transit-accessible transitional housing on the SF Peninsula (even just a couch they can surf for a week or two), that would be HUGE.

If any of you would be interested in sponsoring a transit pass for Aisu (they currently live in VTA's service area, but SamTrans/MUNI/BART could all be beneficial), drop me a line and I'll help arrange getting it to them. And if anyone would like to contribute directly, their PayPal address is prussia(at)ucla(dot)edu.

*genderqueer, requests singular they pronouns

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1326361.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

I wasn't the only one...

YouTouchMyHeart
...who thought I deserved a medal.

There was an envelope on my chair when I got to the office today, with a CD from my Amazon wishlist and one of these.

You know who you are. Thank you. <3

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1326319.html. Feel free to comment in either location.
I Hate Everyone
A bout of very public drama on Facebook TuesdayCollapse ) has done nothing to help my overall mental state. On top of this, I'm badly overdue for a replacement mask for my facehugger, so I've been waking up several times a night when the vents pop open and the pressure changes (to say nothing of the extra noise). And it's been more than 12 months since I got the machine, so my prescription has expired, and the company I got it from can't send me any new supplies until the scrip has been renewed. I found a store online that would sell me one without it, and I should have it by Monday, but having to pay out of pocket for it annoys me.

It's been a real struggle not to eat my feelings every night.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1326020.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Long overdue

Bad
Just emailed my old therapist in SF to see if she might have a recommendation for someone in the area. (I'd go back to her in a heartbeat, but the cost and logistics of getting to the City on a weekly basis on top of the session fee preclude that.)

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1325301.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

I'm sick of this.

FAIL
Get paid Friday.

Wake up overdrawn Tuesday.

Because we spent a third of my check on GROCERIES, for fuck's sake.

And now [personal profile] gridlore and I are arguing over my going back to therapy. (Figure out how I'm going to pay for it, universe, and I'll be there tomorrow.)

This is going to be an awesome fucking day, I can just tell.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1324925.html. Comments disabled in both locations.

Permission Slip

Serenity
Originally posted by ursulav at Permission Slip

wombatcertificate

A friend requested I make this, and so here it is, and I offer it to anyone who needs it, with all the authority vested in me by whoever vests these things. Print it out if you need to.

The best art advice ever given to me—ever, ever—was "Don't be afraid to make bad art."

You will make a whole lot of crap in your time. Some will be truly awful and some will be merely mediocre. And that is totally normal and totally fine and for the love of little green apples, just keep going, because that's the only way I know to get to the good stuff eventually.

(99% of the time I feel horribly egotistical mentioning the Hugo, but I think this counts as using that power for good, if anything does.)

(Incidentally, I recently issued a certificate of permission to make comics at a con, to someone who said they needed one, and Kevin was all "You really need to make one of those people can print out," and I sort of back-burnered it and now I am realizing that apparently there is a demand there.)


This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1324458.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

I STILL ATEN'T DEAD

BurningMan
Checking in briefly to let everyone know that [personal profile] gridlore and I survived Monday's apocalypse on-playa; our tent isn't quite as waterproof as I might have hoped, but nothing was damaged. Doug is recording daily video blogs that we'll upload when we get back.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1323884.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

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T-23ish hrs before departure

Glitch
(x-posted from the bookfaces)

Last night sucked. Realized earlier in the evening that I was having an optic migraine; I sent myself to bed early because the visual effects were starting to make me dizzy, then woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep until almost 4 (not least because I was lying there thinking "Damnit, I can't get up and pack because it'd be too noisy").

Once I was up this morning, I finished getting the rest of my clothes packed, including my post-event bag, then had to grab myself by the scruff of the neck and drag myself out to the car, or I would've been even later getting to work. (I kept looking around the house and thinking "Shit, that's gotta go in a box...that needs to go in my backpack...damnit, did we pack those already?")

If we had to just seal our boxes right now and go with what's already packed, we would be fine for the week, but there are a few more "fiddly bits and fjords" that will make the event a more comfortable one.

I'm SO ready to be on-playa. Contrary to the last time I said that in public, I'm almost ready to make the trip.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1323561.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

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Black and White in the U.S.

I Hate Everyone
Originally posted by [personal profile] jimhines at Black and White in the U.S.

A few data points for anyone who thinks what’s been happening in Ferguson, MO is an isolated incident as opposed to an ongoing, systemic problem.



It’s not just Ferguson.



There’s a lot more data out there, but I hope this will help people who are watching events in Ferguson and throughout the country, and having trouble understanding where all of the anger is coming from.






Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.



This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1323327.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

You are all MUCH too good to me.

YouTouchMyHeart
Despite my saying that I wasn't asking for money, several of you have sent me some anyway; dinner has been rescheduled, and the replacement cooler that I was able to pick up at Costco on my lunch hour is covered, as well.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1322648.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Goddamnit.

I Hate Everyone
Walked out this morning to go to work, and noticed that some of our camping gear was moved. Asked [personal profile] gridlore about it; he didn't do it, but we decided it was enough to make us move his cot (mine was already under the futon in the living room, where I'd put it after buying it last year) and our back-up tent (the cabin tent is in a HUGE storage bin all on its own) into the house.

It wasn't until I came back out to get in the car that I realized someone had stolen our cooler.

It looks as though I can replace it at either Costco or Target today, which is great. And really, we'd been living on borrowed time, leaving the gear unsecured in our carport; we don't currently have renter's insurance (though I'll be correcting that ASAP; it was a godsend when they took EVERYTHING from our locked garage back in '09), and even if we did, that single item wouldn't come close to making our deductible. I'm just glad that's all they took; they left the 5gal. water cooler, Doug's new cot, and both tents.

But the money I'm using to replace the cooler was the money Douglas and I had put aside to go to dinner tonight, to celebrate the anniversary of his not-dying after the stroke last year, and I'm PISSED.

(And as I noted when I posted this on FB earlier, I know this just sounds like passive-aggressive begging, and I'm just too tired - physically and mentally - to give a fuck.)

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1322259.html. Feel free to comment in either location.
Glitch
...I just parsed "road construction delay" on a driver's route log as "boa constrictor delay."

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1322064.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Scarves for Sale

Knitting
$20 shipped anywhere in the US; I'm willing to get international postage quotes, but it won't be cheap. I will get better individual photos of the scarves eventually, but I just wanted this done.

Back hereCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1321915.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

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The Last Plane to Heaven

Candle
The Last Plane to Heaven, as many of you likely know, is the title of a forthcoming collection of jaylake's short stories, set for publication this September.

Now, thanks to the prompt I left in [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith's latest Poetry Fishbowl, it is also the name of a poem in her Schroedinger's Heroes universe.

Check it out, and if you like what you see, go feed the fish.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1321691.html. Feel free to comment in either location.
Candle
jay_lake passed away this morning, June 1 at 5:45am Pacific time. His partner Lisa and friends were with him. He will be missed.

If you want to make a contribution in Jay’s name, please make it to:
Clayton Memorial Medical Fund
c/o OSFCI
P.O. Box 5703
Portland, Oregon 97228




Pizza and Hawaiian shirts on Friday. Don't forget.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1321422.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

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Submitted for your approval...

Fuck Cancer
So Friday is jaylake/feedjaylake/[syndicated profile] jlake_feed's birthday. Obviously, there is no JayCon planned, and even if there was, the guest of honor most likely couldn't attend.

But that shouldn't stop any of the rest of us from having our own little JayCons on Friday, wherever we happen to be.

Brightly-colored shirts. Tie-dyed socks. A fez, should you be so inclined. And, of course, pizza. Because pizza.

Who's with me? (And please, feel free to share.)

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1321131.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

Thank you all, once again.

YouTouchMyHeart
There's a (not-quite) full tank of gas in the truck, some extra groceries in the fridge, and enough money in the PayPal account that I can get cash back off a small purchase tomorrow and get the checking account out of the red before I get dinged for their "Extended Overdraft Fee" or whatever the hell they called it. Once that's done, I should still have enough left that I can finally put in the 2014 Upgrade disk I got from Quicken and start following my money more closely again, and then renew my membership at the therapy pool after the 15th (when it becomes $30 rather than $50).

I was able to go visit pentaclemoon last night for her birthday and stay up far too late chatting (okay, snarking) with her, cruz531, [tumblr.com profile] myrkrida, thesylvan, and [twitter.com profile] KobaltBleu, and spent the drive there and back working my way through the WTNV archive (I've just finished "A Story About You"). I paid for my late night by spending the day dead for tax purposes; I finally got out of bed for good about an hour ago, and am now making clean-out-the-fridge sourdough bread pizzas for breakfast/lunch/dinner/whathaveyou.

This entry was originally posted at http://kshandra.dreamwidth.org/1319965.html. Feel free to comment in either location.

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Glitch
kshandra
We're flat broke, but hey - we do it in style....

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